wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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