Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
