Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
