I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
