I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
