did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
