My friends, they love my intelligence
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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