apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
