Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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