Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
