areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize