Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
