my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize