Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
