my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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