Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.