Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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