We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Bring me that man meat
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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