I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
