When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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