twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
