..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
