my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
