I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
