sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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