So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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