I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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