weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
