I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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