please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
