We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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