Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
