Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
