i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
