Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
