just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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