i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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