Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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