So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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