I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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