I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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