Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
