Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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