Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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