Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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