I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
