the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
