so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
