What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
