their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize