none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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