You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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