Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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