Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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