i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
