It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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