its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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