The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
