Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
