the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
