we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
